


Talk To Me

by maximumdanger



Series: The World We Build (She Ra) [3]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mentioned Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra), Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Post-Canon, Self-Harm, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 5 Spoilers, Therapy, Therapy Cat Melog (She-Ra), Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24829903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maximumdanger/pseuds/maximumdanger
Summary: Perfuma invites Catra over for a meditation session before game night, and Catra confides in her about her childhood with Shadow Weaver.(Rated T for language, past child abuse, and brief element of self injury.)
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Melog (She-Ra), Catra & Perfuma (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Series: The World We Build (She Ra) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789738
Comments: 12
Kudos: 143





	Talk To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! Thank you so much for the positive feedback on my last two fics! I have one more in the works for this series after this one is published.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: For this fic, please be aware that there are elements of past abuse and a brief depiction of self injury. This is not a completely accurate depiction of therapy, and you should probably not be friends with your therapist IRL outside of, well, your form of therapy.
> 
> Stay safe and thank you for reading!

Catra took in a deep, shaky breath and clutched Adora's hand tightly in her own as they stood in front of the door to Perfuma's newly converted treehouse. Melog shrunk their form a bit and pressed tightly to Catra's leg, nuzzling into her outer thigh as Adora leaned forward to knock at the door with her free hand, shifting the basket she was carrying to the crook of her elbow. Before she could even finish knocking, Scorpia had opened the door, absolutely beaming and dressed in a smart short-sleeved button up and slacks.

"Oh, my goodness, it is just so great to see you guys!" Scorpia said, and held out her arms to her guests. "Can I give you a hug?"

Catra was surprised that Scorpia had actually _asked_ instead of just going for it, but then remembered that she must have looked like a mess. It had been… a rough night, to say the least. She slowly slipped her hand from Adora's and practically slumped into Scorpia's arms, joined quickly by Adora, and soon after she felt Melog wrap themself around the group's legs. The hug lasted for a bit longer than was necessary for a greeting, but Catra needed it, and she was pretty sure Scorpia recognized that.

Before Scorpia had even finished drawing back, she began to speak again. "Oh, jeez, where are my manners, come on in!" She stepped out of the doorframe and waved them inside, gingerly taking the basket from Adora. "Catra, you're gonna love what Perfuma's done with the meditation room! She's totally ready for you to come up whenever, so don't wait for her to call. Wait a minute!" She stopped suddenly in the living room, and looked back to Catra and Adora suspiciously. Catra winced, and then mentally swatted herself for doing so. After a moment of eyeing the group, she smiled and finally spoke again: "I knew somebody was missing! Where's Swift Wind?"

Adora laughed at that, gently placing a hand on Catra's back. "He's coming later, don't worry. Glimmer said she was too tired to teleport since, you know, they just got back to Etheria this morning, so he offered to fly Bow and her over later tonight."

Catra cleared her throat before managing to speak in a scratchy voice, "Melog gave us a ride over." The creature gave a satisfied noise and pressed their head against Catra's palm.

Scorpia gave Catra a gentle, reassuring smile. "Well, I know for a fact that Bow and Glimmer never miss game night, so they'd better be here! Speaking of-" she pulled back the cloth covering the basket, and picked up one of the smooth wooden blocks from it, "What kind of game is this?"

Catra leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms as she listened to Adora's answer.

"Oh! It's called… um… Jonga? Jambo? Something like that. Bow brought it back from the world he and Glimmer just visited. I think the way he explained it was that you have to stack the sticks up in a tower and slowly take it apart, and the first person to knock the tower over loses," Adora explained.

Scorpia looked down at the block in her claw and frowned. "Something is telling me I'm not going to be very good at this game."

Catra stifled a cackle behind her hand before pushing herself off of the wall and walking towards the rather tall ladder that led up to Perfuma's meditation room. Melog silently followed after Catra. Scorpia gave her a wave, and Adora gave her a wink and thumbs up, which annoyed Catra only a little.

As she climbed up, she heard Scorpia and Adora very seriously discussing the best method of grating carrots for Perfuma's carrot cake recipe, which neither had apparently heard of, and the disadvantages of having large claws when it came to small measuring spoons. She paused for a minute and thought about how lucky she was to have them.

It had been about a year since Perfuma and Scorpia started living together in Plumeria, and a few months since they'd gotten married. It was a quiet ceremony, as both of them wanted to wait until Scorpia had rebuilt a good part of her former kingdom in the Fright Zone to announce their union. Of course, Scorpia wasn't in Plumeria full time, as she and Entrapta were often busy planning the next phase of the project. Perfuma was often working as well, still responsible for the affairs of both her own kingdom and the worlds she was sometimes called to to aid in reintroducing plant life as a part of the Princess Alliance's effort to restore the universe from the effects of Horde Prime's conquest. However, they always made a point to invite Catra and Adora over and make them feel welcome when they could, and although Catra sometimes felt she was burdening them in some way, she tried hard to push the thought aside.

She took a deep breath as she pulled herself up on the second floor of the treehouse, arms shaking as Melog gently pushed her feet with the top of their head. Melog followed after Catra, and curled around her as she sat on the floor in front of Perfuma's meditation room. Catra ran a hand over Melog's head and ears, and they gave what Catra had come to recognize as a purr in response.

After a minute, she pushed herself off of the floor and slid the door open, greeted by the warm scent of oranges and incense she'd come to expect from her sessions with Perfuma. The room had recently undergone a makeover, now with floor-to-ceiling windows on one side, one of which was cracked open, allowing a warm summer's breeze and the chirping of birds into the room. Perfuma sat cross-legged on a comfortable mat in front of one of the large, plush couches that faced each other, eyes closed and basking in the afternoon sun that streamed through her windows. She was wearing a pink sundress and her blonde hair was fixed into a low braid. Catra felt a strange tinge of envy as her hand went to her own hair, not as short as it had been when Horde Prime had cut it off, but still shorter than she would have liked. Before she could think further about that, Perfuma looked up and smiled at her, silently waving for her to enter. Catra did so, and waited for Melog to enter before sliding the door closed behind her.

Catra sat down on the mat opposite Perfuma and looked down at the low table between them. Perfuma had placed a familiar tea set with a plate of dry, lavender flavored biscuits alongside several candles and a thick notebook which Catra could only assume was filled with notes on mediation and grounding exercises. She began fiddling with the hem of her shorts as Melog settled down behind her, wrapping their body around hers and resting their head on her thigh. Melog was sometimes more like a dog than a housecat in terms of physical affection, but Catra didn't mind it. Often Melog's and Adora's were the only physical touch Catra could stand.

"It's so good to see you, Catra," Perfuma finally said, breaking the silence between them, "Though I will say, it is a bit unexpected. How are you feeling?"

"I'm… I've definitely felt better," Catra started, and then sighed before giving a smirk to Perfuma. "And it's definitely not helping that everyone here seems to be better-dressed than me," she added, ears perking up playfully. Catra hadn't exactly had style in mind when dressing herself this morning, choosing a pair of Adora's shorts and her old red jacket that she'd swiped a few months ago, the latter which now lay in a small pile beside her, exposing her battle-worn and scarred arms. Even Adora had chosen some more stylish clothing, a light blue two-piece number that Glimmer had gifted to Adora after she'd gotten concerned about her wearing only the same couple of outfits.

Her comment brought a small laugh from Perfuma, which made Catra feel a bit better about the situation. "Uh… but yeah," she continued, "I've… been wanting to talk to you about something for a while, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up since I, uh, reacted pretty badly the last time we tried to talk about it."

Perfuma adopted a more serious expression and reached for her tea cup, taking a slow sip before speaking. "This is about your relationship with Shadow Weaver, right?"

Catra tensed at the name, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared at the tray of biscuits on the table. "Yeah," she finally croaked out, "I've been having some pretty bad nightmares, uh, about her. I had one last night and it made me… spiral a little. Thankfully Adora helped me, you know, feel a bit better, but I was not feeling great this morning. That's kind of why Adora had to make the call." Catra sighed deeply, partially because she was annoyed with herself for being so vulnerable. She tried to remind herself that this was necessary. For a brief moment, she lifted her gaze to meet Perfuma's, but her somewhat pitiful expression gave her a reflexive feeling of disgust, and her eyes immediately shot back down to study the wooden grain on the table.

"I'm glad you're able to speak about this Catra," Perfuma said as she gently settled the tea cup back onto the table, almost as if she was trying not to startle her guest. Catra felt a tiny flame of anger ignite in her chest at the idea that Perfuma thought she was weak, but did her best to swallow the feeling. "I know that the first time I brought it up, you weren't ready to talk about it, and I sincerely apologize for that. If I had better known then exactly what kind of person she was, I wouldn't have made you confront that so early."

Catra huffed a bit, resisting the urge to dig her claws into her triceps and drawing further into herself. "It's fine, really," she said as she leaned back against Melog's, "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did either, but it's like you say, right? We can't change what we've done in the past, we've just gotta look to what we can do now."

Perfuma nodded slowly in the upper corner of Catra's vision. "Would it be okay to ask you to describe your dreams for me? You don't necessarily have to go into any detail, of course, just whatever you're comfortable with."

Catra leaned forward and picked up the cup of tea on the table, letting the taste of lemon and honey ground her before settling back down into the curve of Melog's form. "It's... almost the same thing every night. She… uh… she…"

Catra trailed off, losing herself for a minute. It was sometimes hard to distinguish dreams from memories when it came to Shadow Weaver. The nightmares skewed her mentor, made her look… bigger, her "lessons" more painful, her speech more biting, but it was more or less the same in Catra's mind. She'd had them when she was in the Fright Zone, too, but really every moment there after… after Adora left… was somewhat of a waking nightmare, no matter how used to Shadow Weaver and Hordak's temperments and volatile behavior she was.

The sting of her own claws piercing the flesh on her arms jolted her out of the haze, and she drew her hands back, looking at the pinpricks of blood running down from her nails to her fingertips. She looked up to Perfuma in stunned silence, unable to say anything.

Perfuma quickly sprung into action, pulling a small medical kit from a cabinet off to the side. The two sat in silence for a few minutes while Perfuma quickly patched up the punctures on Catra's arms.

Catra felt a surge of guilt and annoyance with herself, knowing that this was not the first time she'd done something like that while with Perfuma. When Perfuma had finished and settled back down on her mat, Catra was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Catra," Perfuma reassured her, giving her a smile as if Catra had simply spilled coffee on her tablecloth. "I, um… I know this is a difficult topic for you, so if you want to wait for another day to-"

"Absolutely not!" Catra snapped, before mentally kicking herself for her tone. "I already interrupted your day with Scorpia. Besides, if I don't do this now I probably never will." She took a deep breath and pulled a small cushion from the couch behind her, pressing her claws into it to distract herself.

"Like I was saying, it's almost always the same basic dream. She'll show up, wrap me up in her shadows, and tell me… well… it changes. Last night she was telling me I wasn't… good enough for… anyone." Catra chose her words carefully. "Before she's told me things like I'm selfish, or worthless, or not trying hard enough. Sometimes she's comparing me to Adora, or says she wishes she never took me in." She took a shaky breath, trying to ignore the tears she felt forming at the corner of her eyes.

Perfuma looked at her with concern, and Catra was now finding it very difficult to maintain eye contact. She closed her eyes and hung her head, feeling Melog nuzzle against her arm, being careful to avoid her fresh wounds.

"Would you say that's… fairly accurate to how she treated you in real life?" Perfuma asked carefully.

"Yeah… Yeah. I'd say so. It was… maybe not as bad when we were really young but it… uh… definitely picked up when we got older. 'Lazy' and 'worthless' got added to the mix maybe around… age 12? I'm not sure. It was… more emotional than physical in real life, I guess. It was… it was fucked up."

"I'm sorry you had to experience that, Catra," Perfuma said, delicately placing one of her hands on Catra's. "I promise you, no matter what she said to you, none of it was true. You didn't deserve to be treated like that."

Catra felt a tear run down her cheek and laughed to herself, a bit hysterically, as her tail began to thrash against her leg. "Do you know what the worst part is? I think she did it all so she could get Adora by herself." Catra felt her breath begin to pick up speed, and her speech did the same. "She… she kept saying it… when we were trying to stop the Heart… that I was a distraction to Adora. Sh-she said that back when we were kids, too. I… I think she was trying to make me hate Adora by comparing me to her. Maybe she thought that I'd get so angry at Adora for… for being _better_ than me"- she laughed bitterly at that- "that I'd stop wanting to talk to her, and she'd finally get her away from me. So… so she could make her into the special prodigy she always said she was. The whole time, the only reason she paid any attention to me at all… it was all so she could have her perfect golden child." 

Catra doubled over, dropping her face onto the pillow as sobs wracked her body. Melog carefully moved to comfort her, pressing to Catra's shaking form, while Perfuma gently stroked Catra's hair, whispering soothing words that completely dissolved of meaning in Catra's downturned ears as her senses bathed in sorrow.

Catra wept for her own innocence, a child who had never known a guardian's love, for Adora, for every kid who grew up under the Horde's wretched gaze, and for everyone she hurt because of the inferiority complex that Shadow Weaver implanted in her. She felt disgusted at her vulnerability, but that feeling was nothing compared to the years of torture at Shadow Weaver's hands. To think that just a few years ago, she had thought her world was a completely acceptable way to live brought a deep aching feeling to her sternum.

Eventually, she calmed enough to allow herself to be soothed by Perfuma's words, slowly sitting back up and letting her friend guide her through a small breathing exercise. The tears eventually stopped, and she flung herself into Perfuma's arms, exhausted. They stayed like that for a bit, Perfuma slowly rubbing circles into her back. When Catra pulled herself back, leaning into Melog, she felt a wave of embarrassment and panic at her actions, but Perfuma's constant, reassuring expression helped to ease it just a bit.

"I'm, uh," Catra coughed into her elbow, clearing the roughness in her voice from her throat, and resisted the urge to apologize, "Thanks, I really needed that."

"Of course, Catra. I'm always going to be here for you." Perfuma paused for a moment, and placed her hands back on top of Catra's. "I can't take away the pain, Catra. As much as I wish I could, all that my magic can do is… well, make flowers." A small, pained chuckle left Catra's lips. "But, I'm here, and I can help you learn to manage it... How about we try some grounding exercises for today?"

Catra gave a watery smile back at Perfuma and slowly nodded.

"Great!"

\--

Catra faced herself in the bathroom mirror, now satisfied that she erased any evidence of her crying in Perfuma's meditation room. She quickly tousled her now shoulder-length hair, which fell awkwardly away from her ears, and noted to herself to start wearing a ponytail as she pulled Adora's jacket back on over her bandaged biceps. She would talk to Adora about it later but… not yet. She didn't want Adora to see it yet. She took a moment to breathe in and out, the way Perfuma had shown her so many times, before carefully sliding the bathroom door open and heading to the kitchen.

When she entered the room, she saw Adora and Scorpia standing proudly behind their… very rustic carrot cake. Perfuma praised their work, while Melog lay curled up in a patch of sunlight beside the kitchen table. Bow and Glimmer would arrive in a few hours, and there would be cake, and games, and good friends who loved her unconditionally. Who she loved unconditionally.

It would be a good night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed, and feel free to leave any feedback or constructive criticism in the comments! Look out for my next She-Ra work involving a Best Friends Squad trip to Mystacor soon! After that, I'm thinking of branching into some works for other fandoms, such as Critical Role and The Magnus Archives, so if that interests you, look out for that as well! :-)


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